Meme: Character Dialogue

[dlgood]

By way of smithereen and yhlee:

Give me two characters from different fandoms you know I'm familiar with, and I'll give you a dialogue happening between the two of them. Without justifying how the crossover would work, how their worlds clashed, or how they could even meet each other. Just a silly crossover conversation with no backstory, for fun..

I should be able to cover a pretty wide range of shows/fandoms. Examples: BtVS/AtS, Dexter, Friday Night Lights, Chuck, Night Court, Profit, the Tick, Family Ties, Heroes, and so on...

ETA: Wow this could be hard...

Added so far: Alex P. Keaton and Cordelia Chase. The Tick gets hauled before Night Court. Captain Awesome gives Angel a pep talk.

Comments

[anonymous_sibyl]

Anyone from Playmakers/Anyone from Friday Night Lights

Apologies for belatedness...

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

"Kid, if you have a second, come in..."

"Sir."

"Head Coach made his decisions. You'll be seeing a red tag by your locker tommorrow."

"Sir."

"Would you like to tell me that you're surprised?"

"Sir. I would very much like to say that."

"Was this what you really wanted to be doing with your life?"

"Sir. I love football."

"That's not what I asked. You've got a decent arm. You're reasonably mobile, and I know how quickly you can pick up a playbook. But I don't see it on the field."

"Sir. It's the shoulder and the knee. It'll come around."

"Don't kid me. The guys who make it at this level are, for the most part, the guys who don't care for much else."

"Sir. I love my girlfriend, and my family. I don't see how that's a problem."

"I didn't say it was. The problem is what you are producing on the field. I think you've known this day was coming. Are you going to tell me it was your dream to kill yourself just to hold a clipboard?"

"Aw, hell."

"I like you. Staff likes you. You're a good kid. You love football. You're a good teammate. You can lead. You understand how to run a pro offense, and just as certain won't be doing it on the field."

"Sir. I think with one more shot..."

"I'm going to make a call down to a couple of friends of mine in New Mexico and Texas. It won't pay you much, but it'll get you established."

"Established?"

"Start somewhere small with Special Teams, do your job and work your way up - some day you'll get Quarterbacks. Maybe even a coordinator job."

"Established."

"It was a privilege, Eric. Enjoy your last night as a football player. Tomorrow, you'll become one of us."

"Thank you, Coach George."

"Call me Mike."

Re: Apologies for belatedness...

[anonymous_sibyl]

This is great. Just great. Made me say "OH" at the end of it.

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

Dexter and Profit, baby.

[elementalv.livejournal.com]

Alex Keaton and Cordelia Chase could be a fun conversation.

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

*dies* Yeah, I'd want to sit in on that one, definitely.

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

Hello! Did you see what shoes she was wearing! You can't possibly expect me to sit quietly by when your office is a walking fashion disaster. What kind of tone are we trying to set?

You know, Cordelia, when the leadership offered me a page I thought, "Hey, they're really starting to pay attention to Alex P. Keaton!" Now, I'm starting to think they're hazing me.

And I can't have you terrifying my staff all the time. Save that for the Democrats.

Fine, but you have to promise not to stand next to Dennis Kucinich in the Ohio Delegation Photos. You're make him look like he's not a freakish twerp.

[elementalv.livejournal.com]

Okay, yeah. I can definitely see the hazing aspect of this. This is a lovely and twisted dialogue, and I think I'm a little bit in love with the meme that led to it.

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

I love this meme. Even though it's going to take me forever to get through it.

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

*giggles* So perfectly in voice, that it's scary. *giggles harder*

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

Young teen Cordy is fun. Alex P Keaton is exactly her type of political guy. They both love money, they both think the lesser people complain and whine to much, and both have far more heart than they like to let on.

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

I agree. They'd really be a good AU!OTP, wouldn't they? *laughs*

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

Maybe. Though, in my crossover, she is 16 and he's a Senator... And also, didn't the girls he really like generally reject his politics?

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Most times, yes. He usually wound up dating girls who were diametrically opposed to his views on politics. *grin*

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

If you went futurefic, and turn Cordelia liberal...

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

"Angel, meet my new boyfriend, Alex. Alex, Angel."

*aside* "He's um, tall, Cordy. Very tall." - "Nice to meet you, Mr. Angel." - *aside* "Does he know he's bleeding? And why is he carrying that great big ax?"

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

"My my, this is an interesting time piece. It must be at least two centuries old..."

"Three, actually. Its an old family heirloom I was hoping to give to a special someone. I thought I was going to have to take it to a blacksmith..."

"Oh, no. So few people appreciate such a timepiece as this. You came to the right place."

"I do love the classics."

"While you're here, is there anything else you'd like fixed. Like your hearbeat?"

"My what?"

"You don't have one. You're broken. Fragmented. Or maybe there is something else. Something I could take from you instead."

"Hey, ow!"

"A few whacks to the head with some desk drawers, and we'll be all set."

----- two days later ----

"Oh, man. It's like a new lease on unlife. If that guy wants my stupid soul, he's more than welcome to have it..."

----- also two days later ----

"The hunger. I can feel it coursing through me. But also power. And a compelling urge to listen to Barry Manilow. I'd better call Mohinder."

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Harry Anderson meets The Tick.

Better yet, Dan Fielding meets The Tick. *giggle*

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

Hail friend, and servant of the court. Indeed, it is I, the Tick!, crusader for justice and fellow defender of our fair The City.

Your honor, the defendant stands accused of serially assualting department store Santas.

Assaulting how?

The defendent is going to plead guilty to misdemeanor disturbing the peace...

Aha! But peace was already disturbed. At least, the piece of mind that comes with a visit with Jolly old Saint Nick!

Santa wouldn't let Big Blue over there sit on his lap, so he zapped him with cattle prod.

How's Santa.

Mostly okay, with some complaint pertaining to some delicate issues, but expecting a full recovery.

The defendant temporarily shorted out his north pole.

Aha! But I merely brought the charge of justice to bear upon our imposter. Jolly Saint Nick would spare some lap space for the Tick!

Speaking of lap space, is that maid friend of yours around?

Back on topic, you recognize that you can't zap every department store Santa right?

No, not every Santa.

And that sitting on Santa's lap is really for children.

Children of all ages?

No, mostly children of children's ages.

What about large children. I could be a five year old with a glandular disorder.

Your honor, he could be...

Well, then. Fifty dollars and time served. Next!

It was a shock to the system.

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

*GROANS*

That's perfect, Dave, just...perfect. *dies*

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

I can only regret that I failed to work Bull into this more. Because, really, this x-over makes so much sense in my head.

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

Oh, Bull + the Tick would've been amazing. *giggles*

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

Most of the characters from both shows would be amazing together. There'd be limitless zany.

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

HEE, yesh, so very...bizarre, it would be.

[smithereen.livejournal.com]

LMAO. This is perfect.

[ann1962]

Captain Awesome and Angel!

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

We've done our checkup, and everything about your son looks just fine. So, Buddy, why so glum?

I have a lot of stress. I've got an infant to care for, bills to pay, and evil lawyers all over my ass...

Well, sure. That's a buzzkill. But it's important for a man to take a moment and reflect on how wonderful the world is.

The world isn't wonderful. It's harsh and cruel, and nothing is as it ought to be...

Whoah. You know, Geraldo, Post-partum depression isn't just for the ladies. Sometimes, I get a little stressed out myself but there are ways for a man to get through even the toughest days. I have a trick...

You have a trick.

More of a technique or a mantra. You just clear your mind of all that negativity, and you take a few moments to count your blessings. The world isn't always harsh and cruel.

Well, no, not always. But...

No buts. Just lets yourself feel the awesomeness of the world. Think about the good things. The endorphin rush you get from white water rafting...

I don't really do...

Well, whatever it is you do like. Relaxing with those friends of yours. That's pretty good, right?

I do have good friends.

Just hanging out on the quad, looking at pretty girls. That's not so bad.

I do like to watch the pretty girls.

Grabbing some brewskis and watching football with your buds. That's pretty awesome.

Yeah. Football is pretty awesome.

Do you think those evil lawyers know how awesome football is? I bet they don't.

Probably not.

Do you feel that? That's you pitying them. Isn't that awesome?

That kind of is.

Okay. If you'll excuse me, I have to go sign out and head back to my apartment, where I'll relax with my awesome girlfriend.

Thanks. I really do feel a lot less stress now. And I think I have a great idea for taking care of Connor. But I did have one question. Aren't you supposed to be wearing a shirt?

[evil-little-dog.livejournal.com]

*snort*

[ann1962]

Oh thank you. That is fabulous!! I can totally see that conversation!! I love the way your mind works.

[alleynyc.livejournal.com]

THAT was awesome. LMAO.

[anonymous_sibyl]

*snort* Captain Awesome is indeed awesome. And just what Angel needs.

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

BTW, I presumed you meant Angel of Angel and not Det. Angel Batista from Dexter.

[ann1962]

Yes, I have never seen Dexter.

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Angelus and Dexter

Sorry for the Delay

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

Harry prepared me for many things. How to hide in plain sight. How to identify threats. How to dispose of unwanted bodies. Harry didn’t prepare me for bodies that refused to stay dead.

"So, Doc, how do you like being strapped down to a table and wrapped in plastic. Because it's really not my scene. Although I'm giving you points for ambience."

"It's not really about ambience. It's about maintaining the venue. So I can clean all the blood up and clear out without being traced."

"But where's the fun in that. You're killing all of these people, and they just disappear."

"I kill people who should be made to disappear."

"Yeah, but you could be sending a message. Like when I kill you. Think of the vindication the people who hate you will feel. Think of the tragedy for those who love you. There's a whole realm of experience you just aren't tapping into."

"I'm not about tapping into experiences. I'm taking out the trash."

"Oh, I don't think so. You kill because you want to, because there's something dark and angry and painful somewhere in that chest of yours, and it gets louder and louder until hurting other people is the only way to make it quiet. For awhile."

"Are we talking about me or you now? You did wind up on my table."

"All I'm saying is... anyone can take out the garbage. Any animal can kill."

"I would be just an animal, but I have friends and family. A life. I'm not like you. I'm more."

"Aww. How sweet. Is she pretty? Blonde?"

"Yeah?"

"See - not that different. Now lets start with the fingernails. And if you promise to learn some things, I might not even kill you..."

Re: Sorry for the Delay

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

LOVE IT. THank you