Five Petty Little Things That Drive Me Nuts

[dlgood]

This is not a meme. I'm just in a mood. So, Five Petty Little Things that Drive Me Nuts:

1) Shredded Lettuce on my sandwich

Did I ask for lettuce? No, I didn't. In point of fact, I specifically told you not to put any lettuce on my sandwich. Look, I don't like lettuce. I cannot articulate any reason why, and lettuce has no qualities whatsover to make it so offensive. But I just don't want any lettuce. As I'm not allergic, I can't in good conscience send it back. But it's not like I'll ever get all that lettuce off, espcially with the melted cheese I like so much. So now, I'm all peeved and cranky. And I've got to eat this sandwich with the lettuce I never wanted.

2) People asking follow-up questions after I've already said "It's fine"

I said it was 'fine'. This is code. It could mean a number of things. It might mean that I think whatever situation you're asking about is well in hand, and you needn't worry about it. And should be thinking about something else. Maybe, irrespective of fine-ness, I consider the question unnecessary and resent you probing. Maybe I think you are questioning my judgement on something I'm handling. Maybe it's a sore subject, or just a complicated one, and I don't want to get into it. Maybe I think it's not your business. If I say it's fine, I want you to just accept that I said it's fine. Leave me alone, and let me have my autonomy. Do not ask again. Do not ask a third time. I will get ornery.

3. People touching my hats, especially when I'm wearing them

What's wrong with you? In your spare time, do you go around poking bears? Don't touch my damn hat. It makes me angry. Do not, especially do not, take my hat off my head. Unless you are a woman, and immediately follow this up by showing me your breasts. Even then, it's a close call.

Actually, I'm stopping my list of Five at Three. Just thinking about it makes me angry.

Comments

[southernbangel.livejournal.com]

Unless you are a woman, and immediately follow this up by showing me your breasts. Even then, it's a close call.

HA!

I agree about the lettuce thing. Whenever I order a burger or other sandwhich, I make sure to specify "NO LETTUCE." About 7 times out of 10 they don't listen but oh well, at least I tried. However, if they put mayonnaise on the sandwich after I explicitly state "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NO MAYONNAISE. If you put it on there, I will die!" then I will send it back. I don't do mayonnaise. Ever. At all.

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

I like the mayo. THe lettuce, not so much. That happened to me saturday, and I wad in a foul mood for a few hourse. Profanity laced tirade foul. Also, my team lost. That probably had a little to do with it...

[cjlasky.livejournal.com]

I can empathize with the post-playoff crankiness. Shaun Alexander leaves the game in the first quarter, and Seattle's offense IMPROVES. That's got to be a tough one to swallow for a Skins fan.

But look on the bright side: you did better than the Giants did, and for the only time in your life, you have to be glad...

Your name isn't Manning.

[ludditerobot.livejournal.com]

I do lettuce. I do lettuce because it allows me the illusion of living healthfully while doing little. Mostly on Subway stuff. I say "Easy lettuce" because I want a sandwich, not a garden salad on a bun.

What I do hate is when they disregard my "No ice". Used to be, it was because my wisdom teeth were rotting and cold drinks gave me physical pain, but I didn't like ice before that and I still don't like ice. Mom says it was my time in Europe (hah!) and my wife says "Drink around the ice".

[mediumdave.livejournal.com]

Don't touch my damn hat.

You and Lyle Lovett. :D

[angelbuffy0.livejournal.com]

Oh kay if I ever see you in person I will have to reminded about the hat thing. I am definately one of those hat stealer people. :)

[graffitiandsara.livejournal.com]

#2 - There is something about the word fine, I don't know what it is but it often sounds just the opposite of fine. I expect if you want people not to ask follow up questions you probably should pick a word that isn't code for "I'm hostile and don't want to tell you what's wrong." Just a thought.

Oh and I've experienced a similar sort of rage to your #1 when I've ordered my Quarter Pounder Without Cheese and they put their sticker "we made this specially for you except we made it wrong because we know you won't find out until you've driven away and you'll still come back because you can't resist our fries plus you keep hoping you'll get your Quarter Pounder Without the Cheese" on it. It's a very large sticker...

[anonymous_sibyl]

Why must the SHRED the lettuce? Every single time I order a "hot ham and cheese, with tomato and mayo, no lettuce" what do I find? Lettuce. Not a lot of it, but there is always, always, always, a shred or three of lettuce in there, stuck to the melted cheese. What, do they go back in and pick it out AFTER?

I will make a note of the hat thing. Note to self: If and when you visit DC and see Dave wear good bra just in case he has on tempting hat.

In woman-speak, "It's fine," is code for "it is not fine and you had damn well better figure out what's wrong, and fast" so maybe that's where people are getting confused? If it's men who keep asking you, then I don't know what's wrong with them, they should know these things.

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

Hubby doesn't do ice either. He sends it back and demands a new one.

[ladystarlightsj.livejournal.com]

Yeah, kinda have to agree with the "In women-code, 'it's fine' means 'OMG, BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES!!!!'".

At least for me. Of course, there's always the coda of "sometimes, fine is fine. Or 'it's okay, but I don't feel like making a fuss about the lettuce on my sandwich'. Or 'this really sucks but I don't feel like talking about it right now, just wait until 3AM'.

Sorry. I want to say I'm complex, but it looks like I'm just strange.

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

I would send the lettucey sandwich back, if at all feasible.

And number 3 just sounds rude. I don't like people touching me unless it's special circumstances.

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

Why must the SHRED the lettuce?

Having worked in a sub shop - the shredded lettuce is cheaper. It's easier to pack and it compresses smaller. It also keeps longer. And I never get just a little bit. When I ask for no lettuce, I get a freakin' lawn.

In woman-speak, "It's fine," is code for "it is not fine and you had damn well better figure out what's wrong, and fast"

In "man speak" it's code for "I will cut you". But seriously, if I want you to do something or fix something, I will tell you to do something. When a man says "it's fine" he's not hinting at anything - he's blowing you off.

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

For me, as a man "I'm fine" = I AM BLOWING IT OFF. Do not ask questions, do not try to "fix things". Just let it go.

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

#3 is almost invariably people who think they are being playful/cute. This is when I give them my I WILL CUT YOU glare of death.

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

It's more intimidating when I use the Warship Icon instead of cuddly little Paddington Bear.

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

I could be Rickey Manning. His weekend wasn't so bad.

In any case, it's not so much that their offense improved, so much as it was Seattle reverted to form. In the game back in Week Three, the Redskins held them down for awhile but got run all over in the fourth quarter. I expected Seattle to score 17 to 21, and I figured it would come down to whether the defense scored. Since the offense is so weak.

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

There is something about the word fine, I don't know what it is but it often sounds just the opposite of fine. I expect if you want people not to ask follow up questions you probably should pick a word that isn't code for "I'm hostile and don't want to tell you what's wrong." Just a thought.
But isn't that the point. If I want to communicate "I'm hostile and don't want to tell you what's wrong" then I say stuff that would communicate that, then people should take the hint and not ask me.

I do use other words - they are curt, monosyllabic words. The point being "I am blowing you off". It annoys me though - I'm blowing you off, stay blown. Please don't make me actually have to say that... as this is marginally more polite than me just hanging up or something...

[wisewoman.livejournal.com]

Who are these idiots who hang out in your immediate vicinity? (I mean the ones who touch hats, and don't know what fine means.)

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

much, much more.