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This is not a meme. I'm just in a mood. So, Five Petty Little Things that Drive Me Nuts:
1) Shredded Lettuce on my sandwich
Did I ask for lettuce? No, I didn't. In point of fact, I specifically told you not to put any lettuce on my sandwich. Look, I don't like lettuce. I cannot articulate any reason why, and lettuce has no qualities whatsover to make it so offensive. But I just don't want any lettuce. As I'm not allergic, I can't in good conscience send it back. But it's not like I'll ever get all that lettuce off, espcially with the melted cheese I like so much. So now, I'm all peeved and cranky. And I've got to eat this sandwich with the lettuce I never wanted.
2) People asking follow-up questions after I've already said "It's fine"
I said it was 'fine'. This is code. It could mean a number of things. It might mean that I think whatever situation you're asking about is well in hand, and you needn't worry about it. And should be thinking about something else. Maybe, irrespective of fine-ness, I consider the question unnecessary and resent you probing. Maybe I think you are questioning my judgement on something I'm handling. Maybe it's a sore subject, or just a complicated one, and I don't want to get into it. Maybe I think it's not your business. If I say it's fine, I want you to just accept that I said it's fine. Leave me alone, and let me have my autonomy. Do not ask again. Do not ask a third time. I will get ornery.
3. People touching my hats, especially when I'm wearing them
What's wrong with you? In your spare time, do you go around poking bears? Don't touch my damn hat. It makes me angry. Do not, especially do not, take my hat off my head. Unless you are a woman, and immediately follow this up by showing me your breasts. Even then, it's a close call.
Actually, I'm stopping my list of Five at Three. Just thinking about it makes me angry.
1) Shredded Lettuce on my sandwich
Did I ask for lettuce? No, I didn't. In point of fact, I specifically told you not to put any lettuce on my sandwich. Look, I don't like lettuce. I cannot articulate any reason why, and lettuce has no qualities whatsover to make it so offensive. But I just don't want any lettuce. As I'm not allergic, I can't in good conscience send it back. But it's not like I'll ever get all that lettuce off, espcially with the melted cheese I like so much. So now, I'm all peeved and cranky. And I've got to eat this sandwich with the lettuce I never wanted.
2) People asking follow-up questions after I've already said "It's fine"
I said it was 'fine'. This is code. It could mean a number of things. It might mean that I think whatever situation you're asking about is well in hand, and you needn't worry about it. And should be thinking about something else. Maybe, irrespective of fine-ness, I consider the question unnecessary and resent you probing. Maybe I think you are questioning my judgement on something I'm handling. Maybe it's a sore subject, or just a complicated one, and I don't want to get into it. Maybe I think it's not your business. If I say it's fine, I want you to just accept that I said it's fine. Leave me alone, and let me have my autonomy. Do not ask again. Do not ask a third time. I will get ornery.
3. People touching my hats, especially when I'm wearing them
What's wrong with you? In your spare time, do you go around poking bears? Don't touch my damn hat. It makes me angry. Do not, especially do not, take my hat off my head. Unless you are a woman, and immediately follow this up by showing me your breasts. Even then, it's a close call.
Actually, I'm stopping my list of Five at Three. Just thinking about it makes me angry.