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Sunday, November 6th, 2005 05:15 pm
Gakked from my Flist: Five fictional characters I'd like to punch in the face...


  1. Brandon Walsh - There was something irritating and insufferable about any number of the 90210 characters. But for whatever reason, Brandon is the one I'd actually want to punch. Maybe it's Jason Priestly's hair. I'm not sure.

  2. Dr. Sean McNamara - Pretty much every character on Nip/Tuck is a bastard. Christian is a giant dick. And Matt is a sociopath. But Sean's the one I most frequently want to smack. Probably because, watching the show, he's the character I expect something of and despite how f'ed up Troy is, Sean seems like the character that has no soul.

  3. Alf - When I was a kid, I thought this show was really awesome. I've since caught re-runs and seen the commercials. And whoa boy do I wanna punch that stupid f@!$ing puppet.

  4. Monroe Ficus - It's not like I have some hate on for the "Wacky Neighbor" character. Usually, I like these characters. But man, I never liked Monroe. Really, what the heck was that dude wearing that he made George Michael's Wham! outfits look ordinary. But in any case, for me, Too Close For Comfort would have been better with more Cosmic Cow and less Jim J. Bullock. Monroe!

  5. Al Bundy - Al's crass and obnoxious, though he's pathetic and miserable way that makes him somewhat sympathetic despite it all. And I want to punch him. Really, it's not personal. It's just this - Ed O'Neill - as Al, makes this face that, as he's getting punched and he's going to just turn his head, wobble, and collapse into an unconscious heap. It's a tremendous bit of physical comedy. And if I have to punch him in the face to get it, well then so be it...
Sunday, November 6th, 2005 23:00 (UTC)
oh someone who watches Nip/Tuck. I've tried but it's a bit soapy for me but I DO want to know the name of the dark haired young man who just shaved his head. Know who I mean?

And Iknow that face you're talking about with Al
Monday, November 7th, 2005 01:18 (UTC)
someone who watches Nip/Tuck. I've tried but it's a bit soapy for me

It's definitely very soapy - but then I watched stuff like Dallas when I was a kid, so I tend to not mind too much...

And the character is "Matt McNamara" played by an actor named John Hensley (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0378161/).
Monday, November 7th, 2005 01:42 (UTC)
Couldn't agree with you more on Sean McNamara. I really, really, really, very strongly dislike him.

Matt, who runs a close second, actually frightens me. Petulant children who constantly whine that they never get their way usually end up eating people later in life.
Monday, November 7th, 2005 02:16 (UTC)
There's sort of an interesting at work here with me, though - most of these characters I'd punch are characters I do think I could kind of like.

Matt, I don't like at all given how he's evolved into such a sociopath. I don't want to punch him. Him, I want to lock up.
Monday, November 7th, 2005 03:19 (UTC)
Agree with you about Brandon Walsh. He is the fake charming sort who I dislike and distrust. I run from people like him. It isn't the hair, because in other roles, the very few I have seen him in, he carries the same vibe. I think it might just be Priestly. Ick.

I think Monroe was the first gay but not gay fellow on sitcoms. Or at least the first I noticed. Flaming, but only in polo shirts. That disconnect was really weird too.
Monday, November 7th, 2005 03:31 (UTC)
1) It's a lot of it Priestly. It wasn't so much that Brandon was fake, but that he was very inconsistent between when he was serious and genuinely principled - and when he was an assy tool.

2) Yeah - in retrospect, wow, Monroe was pretty gay in a subtext way. Not that I was in any way aware of that when I was an 8-year old watching the show. Being aware of that now makes me feel somewhat uncomfortable. But then - I think it's more the wacky neighbor thing - because I'd punch Urkel too, excvept that I never really watched his show as much as I watched Too Close For Comfort. And plus, I'm a natural curmudgeon, and since Ted Knight was annoyed by Monroe, so was I.
Monday, November 7th, 2005 03:34 (UTC)
At least - I hope I wasn't because of the subtext.
Monday, November 7th, 2005 03:38 (UTC)

Really? I feel just the opposite. I think he and Annie are the only sane ones, and that they should leave before Julie and Christian and Matt poison them completely.

(Well, Kimber's sane, too, I guess . . . but in a crazy kind of way. It's a complicated show).

Monday, November 7th, 2005 03:48 (UTC)
It's very complicated. A lot of times - characters will go from one I like to ones I hate, and back, in the span of one or two episodes. Kimber seems to be one of the ones who is no less in my eyes now than before. She's a character I will not care too much about, and suddenly she'll be my favorite...

Annie is a little kid, and she's sort of a blank slate to me. She's so clean from everything that taints everyone else.

The thing with Sean, to me, is that he came in as the most principled and moral character - and there have been a ton of tests here and there and there are a lot that he fails and he pisses me off when he does. When Christain passes a moral test, it's impresses me because he's generally such a horrible person. I think then, for me, it's sort of soft bigotry of low expectations...
Monday, November 7th, 2005 04:02 (UTC)

Kimber seems to be one of the ones who is no less in my eyes now than before. She's a character I will not care too much about, and suddenly she'll be my favorite...

Yeah, but occassionally she just surprises me by having so much faith in things, like her faith in Christian, her faith in his being strong or being good which is . . . frankly ridiculous of her. But it's really endearing that she is so forgiving and so strong herself, and it doesn't come off as naievety, somehow.

The thing with Sean, to me, is that he came in as the most principled and moral character - and there have been a ton of tests here and there and there are a lot that he fails and he pisses me off when he does. When Christain passes a moral test, it's impresses me because he's generally such a horrible person. I think then, for me, it's sort of soft bigotry of low expectations...

See, that doesn't seem . . . quite fair. I guess my moral compass has them all lined up evenly, and with Sean I see him struggling always towards the top of the ladder, and Christian, even if he's trying to work his way up, still keeps sliding further and further toward the bottom . . . Like what he did to get out of jail? Was monstrous, and that's the kind of thing he continues to do: that's Christian. And Sean is just torn, that's his worst sin, that he isn't sure where his alliances lie, he isn't sure who he can trust . . . and he shouldn't be, because his best friend and his wife are just horrible, horrible people. Julia, she would be the one I would punch. I just hate her so, so much; she's the most self-serving character on the show, I swear to God, the fucking martyr. I hate that.

And, wow, look at me soap boxing all over your journal. Apologies.

Monday, November 7th, 2005 04:28 (UTC)
You need not worry ;-)

I think I was in high school. I so knew the actor was gay and if I remember right he came out quite some time after the show ended. But they played his straight and I wondered why they used an actor who was so seemingly gay. I wonder how intentional this might have been. Now I am thinking with a title like Two Close for Comfort what they were implying. He was the wacky neighbour, and I always assumed they meant only the neighbour aspects, but now I wonder.

Ok, I just googled. http://www.meredy.com/cosmiccow/ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Too_Close_for_Comfort A transvestite neighbour died in the first episode allowing the daughters to be nearby. He wore a sock puppet when he created his cow comic hero. Hiding behind a mask of sorts. Oooh, maybe there is more here. They were located in San Fransisco. I wonder if Monroe was the evolution from Jack Tripper, someone straight acting gay, to someone gay acting straight. Social commentary about letting the gay out of the closet in slow Hollywood terms.
Monday, November 7th, 2005 04:31 (UTC)
See, that doesn't seem . . . quite fair.

Oh - it's not fair at all. There's a reason I used the term bigotry. Basically, I'm allowing prior expectations of characters to color how I judge their actions. It's a form of bigotry.

It's somewhat ironic - because when it came to BtVS - I think the sort of view I had was something a lot of people had coloring them in a case like S3 Buffy-Faith that I don't think was me. And I pointed it out to people. And yet I'm guilty of that here...

Like what he did to get out of jail? Was monstrous

It was? If Christian stays in jail forever, is that going to stop the carver? All it's going to do is postpone the investigation of the real carver, while Kit pursues her issues with Christian - who goes to jail for a crime he didn't commit.

Granted, with what Kit has done, he'd likely get that conviction tossed out either on trial or appeal. During which time, again, the real Carver is out there carving victims. I'm not going to say Christian isn't an asshole. But I think there's a moral argument for the choice he makes, here.

And Julia. Yeah, she's awful.
Monday, November 7th, 2005 04:32 (UTC)
For a show I haven't watched since I was nine, you are making me think it was actually a little bit deeper than the dopey sitcom I assumed it was in my memories of it...
Monday, November 7th, 2005 04:38 (UTC)
And, wow, look at me soap boxing all over your journal. Apologies.

You never have to apologize for soaping in my journal. Soaping leads to interesting conversations - and people saying things they probably need to say, and sometimes even having those thoughts read and listened to, and reflected.

Soap away. It might even make me less dirty...
Monday, November 7th, 2005 04:39 (UTC)
thanks. That's why he looks familiar. I liked him on Witchblade.

I'm very anti-soap. I never could get into them. That and most of the men on Nip/Tuck are real dicks as you pointed out.
Monday, November 7th, 2005 04:43 (UTC)
The 70's, early 80's tv shows in retrospect were doing much more daring things than TV is doing now. All in the Family blows me away now, absolutely amazed with what they got away with. MASH. Even Three's Company, for all of the talk of the jiggle shows put gay people in a good light. Was faked, but maybe that is all the American public could take at the time. Even the Waltons and Little House on the Prairie tackled issues of the day. In some ways the last two shows I list are a little dated because of that, and the contrast between the time portrayed and the issues they dealt with. The others not so much. The cultural shift from the 60's I think resonated for the next 10 years or so. I am constantly amazed on reruns. Now I actually want to watch To close for Comfort after this conversation. Mostly I just remember Ted Knight wearing university sweatshirts long before Bill Cosby started that on his show. And one of the best things I ever heard about The Bill Cosby show, and I don't know if it is correct or not, but it said basically that the Bill Cosby show taught the American Public that they didn't need to be scared of black people. I wonder if the disconnect was so large because of the separate cultures, that maybe there was a grain of truth in that.
Monday, November 7th, 2005 04:47 (UTC)

It was? But I think there's a moral argument for the choice he makes, here.

My moral squick with what Christian does is on a personal level, not a big, worldly level. On a utilitarian, whole-world level . . . yes, I definitely concede your point. But on a personal level? I think that is possibly the most horrific thing he has done in the entire span of the series. He made a conscious decision to make someone else a victim in order to free himself . . . and after (a) he'd been put in place of the victim, so he knew exactly how it felt, and (b) after the Carver had killed somebody, so there was a definite chance that someone was going to be murdered as consequence of his actions. Christian sat down and thought this out, and he made a plan, a conscious decision to do this! That is what bothers me about it; that is what I find monstrous, and that is the kind of thing that makes it so I can never reconcile Christian with being anywhere near as moral as Sean. Sean's crime was worrying about trusting a man who fed someone else to a rapist and murderer; Christian was a man who fed someone to a rapist and murderer. That's just how I see it.

Monday, November 7th, 2005 05:20 (UTC)
I'm really not sure, on any level, what form of justice is being served by Christian sitting in jail for the Carver arrest.

It's an odious act Christian commits, surely, but I'm not sure what he's otherwise supposed to do. He'd exhausted the morally clean acts. How long would one expect a wrongly commited man sit in jail, knowing the Carver is free and going to carve again?

Sean, I'm sure, would have sat. Christian, who was an abused child, and a victim himself, is not going to allow himself to be confined and made a victim again. Particularly over something he did not deserve.

Sooner or later, the police are going to go public with the Christian's arrest. If one believes that the Carver is going to react to news of someone else being given the credit - whether it's today from Christian's leak or next month when the arrest goes public (because it has to go public sooner or later) then why should people wait for that to happen?

I don't know that Christian makes anyone a victim, as the Carver is going to act regardless. What Christian does, is speed up the timetable of things that are inevitable.

But again - my face punching desire for Sean long predates this recent incident for which I don't particularly wish to punch him. I understand the conflict. His S1 affair was more face-punchable...
Monday, November 7th, 2005 05:38 (UTC)

So, in your view, Christian simply doesn't have to accept any blame, he's merely speeding up the inevitable? See, I couldn't do that. I can't see it that way. That, to me, is . . . chemically impossible, I guess; it's like breaking one of the rules of physics: you don't create or destroy matter, you just move it around. Everything is affected by everything else; everything you do touches everything else. If the police called the media and tipped off the Carver, then it's their fault that the next victim is taken; if Christian does, then it's his fault . . . I don't know. Maybe I'm too simplistic and holistic or something, but that's how I see it. And anyone that has any kind of conscience would have to consider that, wouldn't they? Sean would. Sean did, you know by his reaction when Christian told him what he did that he considered it. And -- no, Christian thought about it, he knew what he was doing! He says so, doesn't he? He just didn't care. I just . . . gah! I don't know.

But again - my face punching desire for Sean long predates this recent incident for which I don't particularly wish to punch him. I understand the conflict. His S1 affair was more face-punchable...

Here's where I'm hypocritical. I'd agree with you, except Megan O'Hara is probably my favorite character, and that -- combined with my incredible, unwavering hatred of Julia -- makes it difficult for me to fault Sean for that. I know that I should fault him for it, and I realize that I'm being amazingly hypocritical in releasing him from any blame, but . . . I just write him off as looking for solace.

*giggle* I love that you have so much pent up hostility against television characters . . . you're so manly and virile, Dave.

Monday, November 7th, 2005 05:42 (UTC)
Al! Yes! *laughs*

(...did you see the dream I had wherein Tom Hanks was Death and told me I had to die with Al Bundy?)
Monday, November 7th, 2005 05:51 (UTC)
We base guilt for Christian based upon the assumption that the Carver is going to carve again because of his leak. Someone who carves again because of that, is someone who is going to carve again regardless. And either way, the cops aren't going to be investigating whatever the carver has planned, because they have someone already in custody.

And in this case, Kit's arrest is really dubious. She framed Christian, instead of considering the possibility that the need to frame him to make arrest might be an indicator that he's not the guy who did the crime. And while Sean would reasonably have any number of issues with Christian, there's nothing in his past that would make it fit his MO. Or that, if he were the Carver, why would he start doing it so publicly now, and not sometime in the past 20 years?

And yeah - I despise Julia too, but it doesn't make Sean's temper and behavior around her any less creepier to me. He's less a moral man to me, and more a giant sanctimonious tool. And plus - because Christian is a giant asshole - yet Sean loses points just by, well, willingly associating with such a giant asshole.

*giggle* I love that you have so much pent up hostility against television characters . . . you're so manly and virile, Dave.

Yeah, thanks. BTW, see above (somewhere above in my comment to someone else) my notes on the difference between a character I want to punch, and a character I want to lock up. Christian, I don't want to punch, because I wouldn't want to even get near him.
Monday, November 7th, 2005 05:52 (UTC)
I totally missed that. Just so you know, Coy & Vance were *this* close to making my list, but I couldn't actually remember any of their episodes. I think the blond one was the more lamer, but I couldn't remember whether that was Vance or Coy. Or whether those episodes actually sucked or not. Because it was twenty years and my impressions are not nearly so strong.
Monday, November 7th, 2005 06:19 (UTC)

We base guilt for Christian based upon the assumption that the Carver is going to carve again because of his leak. Someone who carves again because of that, is someone who is going to carve again regardless.

So . . . you think Christian doesn't have this thought process? Or . . . that he's figuring, "Well, someone's going to get carved up regardless," and just doesn't give a shit when it happens, but would prefer that it happens at a time that is beneficial for him?

And either way, the cops aren't going to be investigating whatever the carver has planned, because they have someone already in custody.

The cops in Ryan Murphy land are deeply stupid.

And in this case, Kit's arrest is really dubious. She framed Christian, instead of considering the possibility that the need to frame him to make arrest might be an indicator that he's not the guy who did the crime. And while Sean would reasonably have any number of issues with Christian, there's nothing in his past that would make it fit his MO. Or that, if he were the Carver, why would he start doing it so publicly now, and not sometime in the past 20 years?

I don't think Sean thinks he did it. I think Sean's just worried about how far all of Christian's shit got him.

But yeah, Kit? Worst cop ever. And what a scary, scary lady. I hate to say this, because as a woman, I can honestly say that I'd just about rather be murdered than raped, but she kind of got what was coming to her. Yipes.

And yeah - I despise Julia too, but it doesn't make Sean's temper and behavior around her any less creepier to me.

I honestly am not that power-freaked by how he acts around her, which . . . I wonder what that says about me? I wish he'd just cut ties with her early on instead of doing this whole, "No, I'm going to save the relationship-slash-physically intimidate you" thing, because . . . I think he's better than that, and it just gives her another cross to carry, and she so doesn't need one.

He's less a moral man to me, and more a giant sanctimonious tool. And plus - because Christian is a giant asshole - yet Sean loses points just by, well, willingly associating with such a giant asshole.

Those are both excellent points, but I can't help but be crippled with laughter. For some reason, it's always hilarious to me to hear people described as "tools." But no, really, those are good points for people who are not currently twelve, like me.

Yeah, thanks. BTW, see above (somewhere above in my comment to someone else) my notes on the difference between a character I want to punch, and a character I want to lock up. Christian, I don't want to punch, because I wouldn't want to even get near him.

Yeah, Matt fits in that boat for me. I'd have to hit him with a hockey stick or something; I wouldn't want to actually have to touch him. That kid is fucked. up.

Monday, November 7th, 2005 14:51 (UTC)
It's an interesting thing to look at...

Cosby certainly wasn't the first show with black people in it. There were shows like the Jeffersons, Good Times, and What's Happening. The big thing, though, is that the Huxtable family of the Cosby show were portrayed as a middle class family that didn't feel surprised or out of place to be middle class or upper middle class. And nobody in the show's universe was surprised to see them there.

With the other shows, it still had the inner sense communicated that black people were poor, and black people with wealth... well that was something "special". Cosby had the good economic situation and a strong family, and it was totally taken for granted as a normal thing. And it was a mainstream show instead of a niche show.
Monday, November 7th, 2005 14:58 (UTC)
So . . . you think Christian doesn't have this thought process? Or . . . that he's figuring, "Well, someone's going to get carved up regardless," and just doesn't give a shit when it happens

I think Christian is thinking about it, and I think he does care that someone else is probably going to get hurt regardless. Ultimately, I think his act comes down to this - he doesn't want to get confined. In a lot of ways, Christian acts more like a wounded animal than a man. But - I don't think Christian is actually amoral - he knows his actions are morally dubious... it's not that he doesn't care, so much as he's weighing things against each other and making decisions...

For some reason, it's always hilarious to me to hear people described as "tools."

It is pretty hilarious. I was trying to decide whether I thought Sean was a tool or a douche. I don't think there's a real definition there - you just have to go with your gut.

And Matt - man, time was, back in S1 that I thought that Matt was the only decent one of them... but then there was the whole incident where he and his buddy got high and drove over that girl, and Matt pretty much lost me forever.
Monday, November 7th, 2005 20:52 (UTC)

In a lot of ways, Christian acts more like a wounded animal than a man. But - I don't think Christian is actually amoral - he knows his actions are morally dubious... it's not that he doesn't care, so much as he's weighing things against each other and making decisions...

But it doesn't seem fair that we just discount someone from moral responsibility. I mean . . . how do you run a society like that? How often do you choose to let someone off the hook from a moral existence, and under what pressures? What is enough to say, "Okay, you had it really tought, you don't have to be moral anymore?" I mean, yes, Christian has been scarred, but he wasn't raised by wolves; he wears Armani for Christ's sake. And I realize that a lot of his Lothario, four-hundred-dollar-sunglasses tendencies are to offset the no, I'm not okay, somebody please save me side of him, but it's not fair to just completely excuse him from morality altogether. Is it? Can we do that? That's not the point of Christian, is it?

It is pretty hilarious. I was trying to decide whether I thought Sean was a tool or a douche. I don't think there's a real definition there - you just have to go with your gut.

haha. I'm just imagining you sitting there, wilting under this internal struggle. Classic.

And Matt - man, time was, back in S1 that I thought that Matt was the only decent one of them... but then there was the whole incident where he and his buddy got high and drove over that girl, and Matt pretty much lost me forever.

Yeah, Matt . . . I used to like Matt. Before . . . well, before his hair started to scare me, for one. Now he's just fucking creepy. I'm sorry, but he is; I almost flinch when I look at him. I'm really, really sorry for his friend though. Henry? Poor little guy. And that poor girl . . . everything he touches just turns black and withers. *shivers*

Monday, November 7th, 2005 21:17 (UTC)
But it doesn't seem fair that we just discount someone from moral responsibility.

True - but what is it that he has control over, that he's morally responsible for? He "knows" the carver is free and going to hit someone again, and this is going to happen regardless of what he does. His action, morally repugnant as it may be, is also the one thing guaranteed to (1) free an innocent from jail and (2) get the cops to pursue the actual criminal who is victimizing actual people. How much of this is Christian's selfish desire to be free, his desire to show up Kit, and how much is a genuine concern about justice... I'm not sure. But I do think he's only mostly a monster, and not entirely one - and justice is a genuine part of it. Which is why it's even a point I'd debate instead of writing him off as a simple monster.

We can come to different value judgements, which is fine, because we all formulate values in our own way. Utilitarian, Kantian morality, Jewish ethics, and so on and so on... debating this stuff is a good way of probing and testing ourselves and refining our views, and in theory making us better at making value judgements in our own lives.

One of the many points of Christian is that he's such a dark mirror - particularly, his lack of scruple points in contrast to Sean's attempts and failures to be a paragon. There are any number of things that Christian has done to people that should be condemned and a strange number of cases where he would appear (to me anyway) to a better man than Sean. Sometimes, one wonders if the difference between the two is that Sean looks at what Christian does and sometimes thinks the difference is just that Christian has the balls to do what he doesn't. And this is sometimes both for good and for ill.

I suspect if I wanted to over think it, I could start pulling up many bad Buffy-Faith parallels...
Tuesday, November 8th, 2005 03:16 (UTC)
Just so you know, Coy & Vance were *this* close to making my list

I'd hug you for that. *laughs*

The blond one was the lamer of the two and both of them together were lame enough that I have a tendency to run their names together as one, since I never actually remember which one is which. And yes, the episodes sucked big time.
Tuesday, November 8th, 2005 03:24 (UTC)
And plus, what kind of a name is "Coy Duke" anyway. How does that guy not get his ass kicked every single day...

BTW - was special guest star "Tom Wopat" reason enough to get you to watch that recent Smallville episode?
Tuesday, November 8th, 2005 04:03 (UTC)
How does that guy not get his ass kicked every single day...

Now there's a good question. Of course, I kinda wondered the same about "Luke Duke". I still think it's a silly name.

BTW - was special guest star "Tom Wopat" reason enough to get you to watch that recent Smallville episode?

Oh, yes! Yes! I was twisting in the wind, laughing so hard at all the little injokes. And for some reason, I kept getting angry when I had to watch anything dealing with Clark, Lex, Lois and Chloe. Sheesh, them taking away from me watching Tom and John. What were the writers thinking?
Wednesday, November 9th, 2005 04:12 (UTC)
Luke Duke isn't a great name. But it's just nowhere near as terrible as Coy.
Wednesday, November 9th, 2005 04:16 (UTC)
True. Coy is an absolutely, bottom of the barrel, what were they thinking kind of name.