Gets out of Jail Free

[dlgood]

Typical DC fall. It's raining on friday, after having a week of really lovely weather. Normally, I would be disappointed - but...

Today, I was scheduled to go golfing with the Captain and PMs.

I have a strange relationship with Golf. I have a strong distaste for what golf is and what it represents. Yet, at the same time, I recognize just how fascinating a sport it can be to play.

Excelling at golf requires discipline, concentration, focus... losing yourself, gripping and ripping. When let loose a really nice drive, or make a great chip or putt, there's a tremendously rewarding feeling.

However... I can't maintain that sort of poise playing golf. I just can't. And so, I never manage to string together more than two or three good shots before the inevitable horrendous shank or slice. And so, on the golf course, I tend to suck ass.

I'm a perfectionist - I like to play, but I'll never be completely content doing anything that I suck at. Adequate, I can live with. But suckitude makes me angry.
You can play football angry. You can play basketball, angry. I've even bowled angrily. But anger is useless on the golf course.

It's supposed to be this relaxing working-social engagement. And I can't relax because (as of yet) I am unable to shake my self-competetive drive. It's funny. Although I'm pretty reluctant to do more than slowdance, I can live with being a crappy dancer. Generally, I can opt out of these activities I suck at, but when the boss invites you to golf, you say yes. I tried to play off my craptacularity with much humor - but inside I was very not happy.

Oh, but it rained. Am pleased. Will not have to go fishing for titleists today.

Comments

[thenyxie.livejournal.com]

I'm a perfectionist - I like to play, but I'll never be completely content doing anything that I suck at. Adequate, I can live with. But suckitude makes me angry.

And I can't relax because (as of yet) I am unable to shake my self-competetive drive.

You and me both. If I can't be the best, or at least among the best at the top, then screw it, I'm not gonna do it. When I lose, I get SUPER upset internally and feel really kind of icky/stupid. Thus, I tend to avoid competition whenever I can. Unless I'm good at it *L*

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

When I lose, I get SUPER upset internally... Thus, I tend to avoid competition whenever I can. Unless I'm good at it *L*

Oh yeah. Unfortunatley, I'm first and foremost competetive with myself - so there's this issue where, periodically, *everything* becomes a competition. But that sort attitude tends to drive my successes at things I choose to stick with. Recognizing a "Job well done" brings me the awesomest jollies ever.

[leni-ba.livejournal.com]

You can play football angry. You can play basketball, angry. I've even bowled angrily. But anger is useless on the golf course.

Nope, not exactly useless, just not usable (yeah, go on and tell me that that word doesn't exist. I've been slaving at the computer for two freaking hours just to have half a page cocking its metaphorical eyebrow at me, as if asking: so, where you plan to go with this story now? *grumbles* I'm SO not thinking)

But yeah, whatever. As I was saying, anger is very usable for golf, usually it makes me concentrate better on the game and even improve my aim. Gotta do it because otherwise I'd be yelling and growling at whoever is playing with me. And if it's the boss, well, it just wouldn't do, would it?

But it's kinda funny because I still have this nice picture of me hitting my friend with the golf stick (?) and shrieking at him that "COULD YOU STOP WINNING?!"... *smiles sweetly* Yeah, so I'm a bit weird. *shrugs*

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

anger is very usable for golf, usually it makes me concentrate better on the game and even improve my aim.

Really? See, I use my anger to generate fury and power. I need to be calm and detached to concentrate, and I can't do that on a golf course.

[leni-ba.livejournal.com]

Yup, really. Fury and power makes me concentrate. Hmm, now that I think about it, it sounds weird. Does that mean I'm weird? Hmmm...

lol

[callaxx.livejournal.com]

Well I've never really played golf, so I can't really comment about that. I find it's actually useful to be competitive with others and therefore have the "anger" thing working for you, but competing against yourself...yeesh. When I do that it's just frustrating, which is useful for NOTHING. Shame we can't just stop it really...

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

It depends. I'm generally more focused on comparing my performance against my expectations for myself, rather than other people, becaue that's what I can control.

And because those times when I'm competing against myself, and I do well - it's just the best feeling. For me, anyway.