Tourney Week: All-Doofy-White-Guy-With-Bad-Hair Team

[dlgood]

My buddy, Jesse, finally got back with his comments, so it's time to post this. Many people labor under the misconception that only women and gay guys can talk fashion or style. This is very much not true, particularly when it concerns sports and uniforms. Indeed, one of the key highlights of watching games are making fun of the players. We are very juvenile that way.

Jesse's NCAA Tournament All-Doofy-White-Guy-With-Bad-Hair Team. Qualifications are simple and self-explanatory; judging is subjective.

First Team:
C - Luke Schenscher, Georgia Tech
C - Andrew Bogut, Utah
C - Taylor Coppenrath, Vermont
G - JJ Redick, Duke
G - Matt Walsh, Florida

Jesse's Analysis:

You've heard of the three-guard offense, so why not the three-center offense? For some reason, 7-foot Australians seem to be taking over basketball (and if Luc Longley were still in college, I think we could fit him in too). While this team would not do much running-and-gunning, I think it might be quite effective in the half court--depending on whether or not Walsh and Redick would ever give up the ball long enough for the big guys to operate down low. Perennial favorites Schenscher and Redick return for a second year. (If Redick makes it next year, he would become the only player other than Gonzaga's Dan Dickau to be a three-year starter).

Second Team:
C - Craig Forth, Syracuse
F - Zach Morley, Wisconsin
F - Adam Morrison, Gonzaga
G - Mike Nardi, Villanova
G - Mike Gansey, WVU

As Goodman points out, Morley and Morrison look like casting rejects from the Monkees. Nardi and Gansey look like they take stying pointers from former Maryland point guard Steve Blake. Forth looks like some sort of alien probe sent to gather infomation about humans.

Me, I'd have bumped bumped Morley and Morrison to the first team over Bogut and Coppenrath. And I'd have replaced Redick with Creighton's Nate Funk.

Comments

[hjcallipygian.livejournal.com]

Nate Funk deserves his own position and team simply because of his name. He's already part of Snoop's posse, sight unseen, just for that name. I want to change my last name to Funk and have kids so I can give them names like Nate and Mick Funk.

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

Doing a Google Image search for "Nate Funk" was a lot of fun.

[hjcallipygian.livejournal.com]

He sounds like a distant cousin of Nate Dogg's or something. I think that, when he comes out to the floor, they should play "Nuthin' But a G Thang," for him, pro-wrestling style.