Random Quote about Random Ship in Random Journal

[dlgood]

I came across this line - a sentiment I've seen many times relating to many different characters in many different relationships, and on many different shows. And it always gets me thinking:

"Character X" accepted "Character Y" for exactly who they was, warts and all. And it made "Y" feel less guilty/wrong/bad about having this very very very dark and twisted side.

And invariably, I'm always left with a question. Why is this such a Good Thing? Shouldn't we feel guilty for having a dark/twisted/evil side?

I recognize that dark/twisted/evil frequently equals "TEH HOT" and "TEH DRAMA", but isn't this the sort of thing we should be working on? Aren't these the traits and aspects that a person is supposed to be trying to improve? Isn't this part and parcel of healthy relationships?

I'm not talking about denying or hiding from the darkness within - I'm talking about working to overcome the darkness within. Granted, one shouldn't be unnecessarily dwelling upon and wallowing in one's inner darkness. But if the lessening of that condition isn't accompanied by sincere attempts at growth beyond the darkness, is it really all that good for those involved?

And frequently, I think, this is why these relationships end up falling apart. Character Y is drawn to Character X, who appreciates the darkness within. Character "Y" ends the relationship because Character "X" cannot actually (and often doesn't care to) help "Y" overcome that darkness. Fans of X/Y gnash teeth at the demise of the relationship, frequently blaming "Y" for being judgemental/snobby/mean (sometimes justifably, sometimes not) in leaving the wonderful "X" behind.

Comments

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

As mentioned, it can deal with any number of relationships. The initial quote was actually in reference to Lilah and Wesley.

I'm not so certain Buffy and Angel initially fit the paradigm, as I don't think Buffy or Angel were together specifically disliked themselves. It's not hard to argue that each had various aspects that they disliked about themselves, but it wasn't why either of them hooked up.

Rather, I perceived them holding onto the relationship more a case of romantic illusion in the face of rather daunting realities...

[cleapet.livejournal.com]

Lilah & Wes? Well now, that's different. Tru Luv 4 Eva!

Just kidding.