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So, since other people were doing so, I thought I'd join on and write a commentary/companion for "Bakery" my one fic of any length.
The premise was simple enough, initially. Post-chosen, what was Buffy going to do with her life. And thinking about her infamous "Cookie Dough" speech - when she talked about "baking" in a personal growth sense, what exactly did that mean? So I started writing to explore that.
I can't write fiction to save my life. Every fic or drabble I've ever written is either a joke or a character essay in disguise. This is no different.
Keeping that limitation in mind, I played with the format. Instead of writing a story, I wrote a series of "snapshots". Little scenes of Buffy's life, intersperesed with italicized quotations, some from the show, some made up on my own. I try to alternate between other characters and Buffy. The point wasn't for me to tell a story - because I suck at that - but to set it up so that my readers can see the story happening for themselves.
If you'd prefer to read without the inserted commentary, go here.
-------------------Snapshot 1------------------------
“So, now that you’re not the only one anymore, what do you really want to do?”
They stood on the highway, staring into the crater that used to be Sunnydale. Whatever they had here, had been pretty much wiped out. They would have to start all over. She looked over at Giles and mentally replayed their first conversation.
“I train. I hunt. I kill the vampires. Yay me! And when it’s all over what’s left. Not exactly a medal and a book deal.”
That's taken from the unaired pilot, in a scene that really sets up a big aspect of her personal story. What would she want her life to be if she thought she had a shot at it? Something she mostly gives up on from S5 onward. I wanted to show her getting that back.
Not much left at all. Mostly, a crater that used to be home. No more Sunnydale mall. No more Bronze. No more Sun Cinema. No more UC-Sunnydale.
But other things were gone too. Restfield. Shady Rest. Too many crypts to count.
Thank god. No one should ever have to look upon their own grave. But there was also Kendra, Jenny, Tara, and Joyce. Anya’s body buried under tons of rubble. More than anyone else, she knew that you carried your grief with you, no matter how far you ran. But it was comforting to have special places to mourn. Where would they mourn now? Of all losses these were the hardest to deal with. It felt so wrong. Plus, a part of her figured they would always be together. Even in death. She’d miss that.
They'd built a cairn to honor the dead. When the aftermath set in, some of the girls sobbed. Others tried to be stoic and keep a calm front. Xander seemed especially subdued. As for her. She'd made her peace with Spike before the battle started, and one moment wouldn't spoil that.
"We both should be dead by now. So no mourning each other. I'm not going to make you look like an idiot for believing in me, and for not dusting me when you had the chance. Get some rest."
An imagined conversation between Buffy and Spike the night before the battle. And the reason she doesn't cry for him after the town falls. There's a lot unsaid, and much about Spike will go unsaid in this fic. There's not much else for him to say right now, and she doesn't know what to say either.
Finally, she'd gathered up the gang, counted heads, and did an inventory of the wounded. They would need food, clothing, shelter and first aid. But since Buffy came to this apocalypse with every intention of winning and surviving, she was prepared.
“There might be a place we can go. Until we can figure things out.”
-----------------Snapshot 2------------------------
“I’m sorry I couldn’t give you a drawer. But I wanted this to be yours. Ours. You’d have all the drawers you could ever want.”
They spent the first night in the old Mansion. They’d never really gone through all the paperwork Mayor Wilkins left behind. The town was inextricably linked to the Hellmouth - it harnessed energy, attracted demons and power-hungry sorcerers, and drew gullible citizens to feast upon. Whatever they left behind was gone, and everything within the city limits had collapsed with it. But nothing outside the town limits was harmed. The Route 17 Ice Rink. The caves down by the beach. And the Crawford street mansion.
This is just me working out some details of the Post-Chosen fallout. The mansion, which is close to town, but outside the town - made for a fitting place for them to stop and regroup.
“I never stopped going there. But I had to be careful, because I didn't want them to know. Especially him. There's a part of me I didn't want people to know. I didn't think they could handle it...”
When you're under a lot of pressure, sometimes you need to have a place where you can go to find some solitude, whether literally or metaphorically. The Mansion, for Buffy, was such a place.
While the girls were complaining about dragging their tired selves into the deserted building, Buffy went straight to the master bedroom.
And while Angel wasn’t there to congratulate her or celebrate, he didn’t have to be. He’d known she would win, and he knew what it would cost. He’d left thirty suitcases full of women’s clothing, and quite a few pieces of luggage for the male contingent as well. There were provisions for at least a week, and enough medical supplies to set up a triage unit. Sleeping bags and blankets were strewn about the great hall.
It makes a hell of a lot more sense for me if Angel was there for more than just to deliver a package. Somebody had to plan for the aftermath of that battle, and who better than someone who wasn't busy fighting it.
"I don't think the clear-out was in the First Evil's plan. Win or lose, there's a good chance that the town won't survive. Just tell me when you can't see Revello anymore..."
As mentioned, Angel does some planning for the aftermath. And for him to have done that, Buffy and Angel would have had to talk a little about it before he leaves the scene. Work with me...
Angel was nothing if not efficient on short notice. She went over to the boxes. Willow and Dawn's computers and schoolbooks. Giles' meager collection. Xander and Andrew's comic and movie collections.
The weapons chest Xander made for her. And some very special packages for Buffy. And her jewelry box. With a new addition.
“Winning doesn’t matter if there’s nothing left to enjoy. Oh life, how much we’ve missed you!”
The first snapshot was my elegy to Sunnydale. About so many things they'd lost. The second, is about how many things they can take with them as they go forward.
---------------------------------Snapshot 3-----------------------
“I belong with the military. You don’t. It doesn’t mean we can’t help each other if we ever need to.”
It took him four hours to call. When your ex-girlfriend’s hometown mysteriously blows off the map, you get worried. It only took a few minutes to reach her cell. A few hours to contact his superiors. And a week to get the papers.
“It was the biggest ever, Riley, and I can’t handle the aftermath alone. We’re talking unintended consequences in a major way. And I could really use your skills and connections.”
I never thought Riley was that bad a guy, and he would have made for a useful friend and ally for Buffy. The survivors of Sunnydale are in a position where they need a lot of friends and allies, because they've lost a lot, and they have a lot of follow-up work in front of them.
A mysterious explosion, possibly related to terrorist activity centered around subversive elements in a Southern California town. A highly-classified secret department affiliated with Homeland Security and had access to all manner of specialized training for both body and mind.
It was been her choice to awaken all that power, and she’d remembered how hard handling it was. She’d liked it, but had never really asked for it, and didn’t really want it all that much either. But she believed in responsibilities. Something would need to be done for all these girls. And she knew people with the power, resources, and honest desire to help. Who both wanted to show her how much they respected everything she stood for. And still felt guilty about running out of her life, and leaving her to die alone. Life was looking up.
Sometimes the "character essay in disguise as fic" slips and becomes "obvious character essay".
"I'd like to think we have compatible mission statements, although our methods and jurisdictions are pretty clearly different. To be honest, I don't know how involved we can get. I can try to help, but in the end, this is really your world and I'll have to count on you to keep this from blowing up."
Buffy's experience blackmailing the Doublemeat Palace, and Willow's files on the supposedly-never-existed Initiative proved extremely handy. After a few tense phone calls, she finally got cooperation from Riley and whomever he worked for to forge a tentative alliance. The girls would need real training and fast, they'd want some idea of where and where not to go, and some assurance that they could keep the new slayers safe from uber-shadowy, cigarette smoking men. Or women.
Riley bristled at working with Angel, but as Buffy pointed out, he was older than the US Government and likely would last just as long, so they might as well get comfortable working together.
“I want you both to talk with each other. It’s for the good of the world, and for the good of all these girls. I believe that you both have a lot to contribute, especially if you can make peace. Prove me right.”
Here, I'm clearly Jossed by "Damage". And I suspected as much. But given what they are trying to do, it seems a bit foolish and shortsighted for these folks to not communicate with each other or coordinate their efforts. It's hard to do that when you have shows on different networks and contract issues with casting. But a fic is a freer world, so I'm cheating a bit. I'd like to think that, freed of the short term stress, Buffy has the vision to do that.
-----------------------Snapshot 4--------------------
“As a friend, I think you should leave. This is a real opportunity for you.”
She’d been to hell. She’d been to heaven. Both literally, and metaphorically. It only took seven years to get out of California.
By rights, she should have gone to Cleveland. There was a Hellmouth. But it only felt fair to pass that up. Been there – done that. It was time to move on.
“You have the power to do real good, and to make a difference. Never forget the fear you felt when you faced the night without that power. We’re all slayers now, but most people aren’t. I’m asking you to find your way to fight for them.”
She was the first slayer to meet her successors without having to leave the field. They looked to her for guidance and leadership. But it didn’t have to sit on her head anymore. At least, not like that. Not right now.
A lot of this is about Buffy getting chances to do things. So I'm laying groundwork for her to be able to take a "sabbatical" from her leadership position.
At twenty-two she was both way too young and way too old. Leave it to Willow, her wannabe Jo of a girlfriend, and Rona, who the other girls had apparently taken to calling “Tootie”. After six months of playing Mrs. Garrett and General Patton, she deserved some “Buffy time”. Come on - like the "Slayer School Spinoff" idea doesn't make anybody else think about the Facts of Life. The Facts of Life
So Willow, Kennedy, Rona, and Andrew set up shop above the newest Hellmouth. Giles was to return to England and work with the Devonshire coven to locate the remaining missing slayers and to recover from the decimating blow done to the Council. Wesley would work on the same task from LA.
Character essay disguised as fic. This is where I really start looking for my readers to start seeing the stories play out themselves. Because I'm dropping hooks all over the place, that I'm never gonna pick up on.
"None of you really like me all that much, and Anya was really the closest I had to a friend, but you guys let me matter. I can be useful. Just helping the girls out so they can help everybody else. I'll do what you want."
Andrew gets a line.
Cleveland would make for the ideal training ground. They would need the largest concentration of slayers there anyway to deal with the Hellmouth. Willow could probably get her way into Case Western or at worst Cleveland State. Whichever watchers Wesley or Giles found would start off operating away from home, so Willow and the Slayers would be able to maintain their independence and advantage. The new watchers would all have to take field rotations, and they'd learn to take place supporting the slayers. When they were deemed ready, they could spread out from there. And with Willow coordinating things, everybody was just a phone call or an e-mail away.
“Sunnydale was the worst, and LA is bad. But there have always been monsters all over the world. We spread out and cover the hotspots. Cast a wide net. But we keep in touch. Nobody’s ever alone out there ever again, even when they are..”
With Sunnydale in the ground, these folks have a whole new world to deal with - and they have a lot of building to do - in terms of how they are going to go forward with the Slaying situation. This again, is more groundwork being lain.
-------------------------------------
These first chapters were really easy to write, which shouldn't be surprising as they're so brief. It gets harder for me, because the story really picks up and I have to write narrative. Which again, I'm not really suited to doing. If people don't find it boring, I'll pick this up a little bit later.
The premise was simple enough, initially. Post-chosen, what was Buffy going to do with her life. And thinking about her infamous "Cookie Dough" speech - when she talked about "baking" in a personal growth sense, what exactly did that mean? So I started writing to explore that.
I can't write fiction to save my life. Every fic or drabble I've ever written is either a joke or a character essay in disguise. This is no different.
Keeping that limitation in mind, I played with the format. Instead of writing a story, I wrote a series of "snapshots". Little scenes of Buffy's life, intersperesed with italicized quotations, some from the show, some made up on my own. I try to alternate between other characters and Buffy. The point wasn't for me to tell a story - because I suck at that - but to set it up so that my readers can see the story happening for themselves.
If you'd prefer to read without the inserted commentary, go here.
-------------------Snapshot 1------------------------
“So, now that you’re not the only one anymore, what do you really want to do?”
They stood on the highway, staring into the crater that used to be Sunnydale. Whatever they had here, had been pretty much wiped out. They would have to start all over. She looked over at Giles and mentally replayed their first conversation.
“I train. I hunt. I kill the vampires. Yay me! And when it’s all over what’s left. Not exactly a medal and a book deal.”
That's taken from the unaired pilot, in a scene that really sets up a big aspect of her personal story. What would she want her life to be if she thought she had a shot at it? Something she mostly gives up on from S5 onward. I wanted to show her getting that back.
Not much left at all. Mostly, a crater that used to be home. No more Sunnydale mall. No more Bronze. No more Sun Cinema. No more UC-Sunnydale.
But other things were gone too. Restfield. Shady Rest. Too many crypts to count.
Thank god. No one should ever have to look upon their own grave. But there was also Kendra, Jenny, Tara, and Joyce. Anya’s body buried under tons of rubble. More than anyone else, she knew that you carried your grief with you, no matter how far you ran. But it was comforting to have special places to mourn. Where would they mourn now? Of all losses these were the hardest to deal with. It felt so wrong. Plus, a part of her figured they would always be together. Even in death. She’d miss that.
They'd built a cairn to honor the dead. When the aftermath set in, some of the girls sobbed. Others tried to be stoic and keep a calm front. Xander seemed especially subdued. As for her. She'd made her peace with Spike before the battle started, and one moment wouldn't spoil that.
"We both should be dead by now. So no mourning each other. I'm not going to make you look like an idiot for believing in me, and for not dusting me when you had the chance. Get some rest."
An imagined conversation between Buffy and Spike the night before the battle. And the reason she doesn't cry for him after the town falls. There's a lot unsaid, and much about Spike will go unsaid in this fic. There's not much else for him to say right now, and she doesn't know what to say either.
Finally, she'd gathered up the gang, counted heads, and did an inventory of the wounded. They would need food, clothing, shelter and first aid. But since Buffy came to this apocalypse with every intention of winning and surviving, she was prepared.
“There might be a place we can go. Until we can figure things out.”
-----------------Snapshot 2------------------------
“I’m sorry I couldn’t give you a drawer. But I wanted this to be yours. Ours. You’d have all the drawers you could ever want.”
They spent the first night in the old Mansion. They’d never really gone through all the paperwork Mayor Wilkins left behind. The town was inextricably linked to the Hellmouth - it harnessed energy, attracted demons and power-hungry sorcerers, and drew gullible citizens to feast upon. Whatever they left behind was gone, and everything within the city limits had collapsed with it. But nothing outside the town limits was harmed. The Route 17 Ice Rink. The caves down by the beach. And the Crawford street mansion.
This is just me working out some details of the Post-Chosen fallout. The mansion, which is close to town, but outside the town - made for a fitting place for them to stop and regroup.
“I never stopped going there. But I had to be careful, because I didn't want them to know. Especially him. There's a part of me I didn't want people to know. I didn't think they could handle it...”
When you're under a lot of pressure, sometimes you need to have a place where you can go to find some solitude, whether literally or metaphorically. The Mansion, for Buffy, was such a place.
While the girls were complaining about dragging their tired selves into the deserted building, Buffy went straight to the master bedroom.
And while Angel wasn’t there to congratulate her or celebrate, he didn’t have to be. He’d known she would win, and he knew what it would cost. He’d left thirty suitcases full of women’s clothing, and quite a few pieces of luggage for the male contingent as well. There were provisions for at least a week, and enough medical supplies to set up a triage unit. Sleeping bags and blankets were strewn about the great hall.
It makes a hell of a lot more sense for me if Angel was there for more than just to deliver a package. Somebody had to plan for the aftermath of that battle, and who better than someone who wasn't busy fighting it.
"I don't think the clear-out was in the First Evil's plan. Win or lose, there's a good chance that the town won't survive. Just tell me when you can't see Revello anymore..."
As mentioned, Angel does some planning for the aftermath. And for him to have done that, Buffy and Angel would have had to talk a little about it before he leaves the scene. Work with me...
Angel was nothing if not efficient on short notice. She went over to the boxes. Willow and Dawn's computers and schoolbooks. Giles' meager collection. Xander and Andrew's comic and movie collections.
The weapons chest Xander made for her. And some very special packages for Buffy. And her jewelry box. With a new addition.
“Winning doesn’t matter if there’s nothing left to enjoy. Oh life, how much we’ve missed you!”
The first snapshot was my elegy to Sunnydale. About so many things they'd lost. The second, is about how many things they can take with them as they go forward.
---------------------------------Snapshot 3-----------------------
“I belong with the military. You don’t. It doesn’t mean we can’t help each other if we ever need to.”
It took him four hours to call. When your ex-girlfriend’s hometown mysteriously blows off the map, you get worried. It only took a few minutes to reach her cell. A few hours to contact his superiors. And a week to get the papers.
“It was the biggest ever, Riley, and I can’t handle the aftermath alone. We’re talking unintended consequences in a major way. And I could really use your skills and connections.”
I never thought Riley was that bad a guy, and he would have made for a useful friend and ally for Buffy. The survivors of Sunnydale are in a position where they need a lot of friends and allies, because they've lost a lot, and they have a lot of follow-up work in front of them.
A mysterious explosion, possibly related to terrorist activity centered around subversive elements in a Southern California town. A highly-classified secret department affiliated with Homeland Security and had access to all manner of specialized training for both body and mind.
It was been her choice to awaken all that power, and she’d remembered how hard handling it was. She’d liked it, but had never really asked for it, and didn’t really want it all that much either. But she believed in responsibilities. Something would need to be done for all these girls. And she knew people with the power, resources, and honest desire to help. Who both wanted to show her how much they respected everything she stood for. And still felt guilty about running out of her life, and leaving her to die alone. Life was looking up.
Sometimes the "character essay in disguise as fic" slips and becomes "obvious character essay".
"I'd like to think we have compatible mission statements, although our methods and jurisdictions are pretty clearly different. To be honest, I don't know how involved we can get. I can try to help, but in the end, this is really your world and I'll have to count on you to keep this from blowing up."
Buffy's experience blackmailing the Doublemeat Palace, and Willow's files on the supposedly-never-existed Initiative proved extremely handy. After a few tense phone calls, she finally got cooperation from Riley and whomever he worked for to forge a tentative alliance. The girls would need real training and fast, they'd want some idea of where and where not to go, and some assurance that they could keep the new slayers safe from uber-shadowy, cigarette smoking men. Or women.
Riley bristled at working with Angel, but as Buffy pointed out, he was older than the US Government and likely would last just as long, so they might as well get comfortable working together.
“I want you both to talk with each other. It’s for the good of the world, and for the good of all these girls. I believe that you both have a lot to contribute, especially if you can make peace. Prove me right.”
Here, I'm clearly Jossed by "Damage". And I suspected as much. But given what they are trying to do, it seems a bit foolish and shortsighted for these folks to not communicate with each other or coordinate their efforts. It's hard to do that when you have shows on different networks and contract issues with casting. But a fic is a freer world, so I'm cheating a bit. I'd like to think that, freed of the short term stress, Buffy has the vision to do that.
-----------------------Snapshot 4--------------------
“As a friend, I think you should leave. This is a real opportunity for you.”
She’d been to hell. She’d been to heaven. Both literally, and metaphorically. It only took seven years to get out of California.
By rights, she should have gone to Cleveland. There was a Hellmouth. But it only felt fair to pass that up. Been there – done that. It was time to move on.
“You have the power to do real good, and to make a difference. Never forget the fear you felt when you faced the night without that power. We’re all slayers now, but most people aren’t. I’m asking you to find your way to fight for them.”
She was the first slayer to meet her successors without having to leave the field. They looked to her for guidance and leadership. But it didn’t have to sit on her head anymore. At least, not like that. Not right now.
A lot of this is about Buffy getting chances to do things. So I'm laying groundwork for her to be able to take a "sabbatical" from her leadership position.
At twenty-two she was both way too young and way too old. Leave it to Willow, her wannabe Jo of a girlfriend, and Rona, who the other girls had apparently taken to calling “Tootie”. After six months of playing Mrs. Garrett and General Patton, she deserved some “Buffy time”. Come on - like the "Slayer School Spinoff" idea doesn't make anybody else think about the Facts of Life. The Facts of Life
So Willow, Kennedy, Rona, and Andrew set up shop above the newest Hellmouth. Giles was to return to England and work with the Devonshire coven to locate the remaining missing slayers and to recover from the decimating blow done to the Council. Wesley would work on the same task from LA.
Character essay disguised as fic. This is where I really start looking for my readers to start seeing the stories play out themselves. Because I'm dropping hooks all over the place, that I'm never gonna pick up on.
"None of you really like me all that much, and Anya was really the closest I had to a friend, but you guys let me matter. I can be useful. Just helping the girls out so they can help everybody else. I'll do what you want."
Andrew gets a line.
Cleveland would make for the ideal training ground. They would need the largest concentration of slayers there anyway to deal with the Hellmouth. Willow could probably get her way into Case Western or at worst Cleveland State. Whichever watchers Wesley or Giles found would start off operating away from home, so Willow and the Slayers would be able to maintain their independence and advantage. The new watchers would all have to take field rotations, and they'd learn to take place supporting the slayers. When they were deemed ready, they could spread out from there. And with Willow coordinating things, everybody was just a phone call or an e-mail away.
“Sunnydale was the worst, and LA is bad. But there have always been monsters all over the world. We spread out and cover the hotspots. Cast a wide net. But we keep in touch. Nobody’s ever alone out there ever again, even when they are..”
With Sunnydale in the ground, these folks have a whole new world to deal with - and they have a lot of building to do - in terms of how they are going to go forward with the Slaying situation. This again, is more groundwork being lain.
-------------------------------------
These first chapters were really easy to write, which shouldn't be surprising as they're so brief. It gets harder for me, because the story really picks up and I have to write narrative. Which again, I'm not really suited to doing. If people don't find it boring, I'll pick this up a little bit later.
no subject
And dude, your fic skills aren't any poorer than most people's when they first start out. Give yourself a break, huh? ;)
Re:
The entire format of this fic was a device to hide that fact. Essentially, each of these "snapshots" could have been turned into an episode or longform story, complete with details, scenes and conversations. And, well, action. I can't really write action. What I can do - is give structure and framework within which all those other story elements take place.
It just doesn't come to me - which is why I tend to work as a consultant on projects where other people are the primary creators. That tends to be where my skills and inclinations are.
Re:
no subject
Re:
When I say I can't write fic, it's not that I think I lack writing skill. And I think I'm pretty good at proposing a framework inside which the story takes place. Mostly, I lack the ability to think of story detail, and actions, and plot.