My Charles Gunn, Sports Fan

[dlgood]

As mentioned earlier, this entry has been percolating in my head for a long while. Following upon my previous My Angel the Football Fan post of September ‘06, and what with the NBA playoffs going, I figured it was time to finally present...

My Charles Gunn, Sports Fan (with links!)

• First and second, is a Los Angeles Lakers fan.
  


• chose Kobe over Shaq, because of the age and injuries. But wasn't happy about it.
  


• has never sat courtside next to Jack Nicholson, but really wants to.
  


• was not entirely joking when he suggested to Angel & Wesley that they hire Phil Jackson.
  


• on the playground, was always Michael Cooper or Byron Scott. He does not like the idea that he might be his friends' Kurt Rambis.
  


• does not actually consider NBA All-Star Weekend to be Black Thanksgiving - except for the year they had it in Vegas.
  


• Third, he's a Raiders fan. Even still. Oh, and that was a fumble.
  


• used to wonder if Bo Knows killing demons. Bo Jackson was the man.
  


• was never a big Dodgers fan. Even though he always liked Tommy LaSorda.
  


• doesn't care if Barry Bonds used performance enhancing drugs.
  


• read Moneyball. Absorbed it. Is still disappointed to have no one to discuss it with.
  


• will watch most any sports movie, unless it's about something stupid, like long distance running.
  


• will probably watch just about any sporting event, particularly if it's a playoff, and especially if it's in HDTV. Except soccer, fishing, or bowling.
  


• kind of likes the effect his casual disregard of soccer had on Wes and Spike. Even more, liked the effect that his disregard for soccer having on Wes and Spike had on Angel - or, really, the effect that had on Wesley and Spike.
  


• doesn't watch much tennis. Unless Venus or Serena are playing. They're his girls.
  


• will watch most any olympic sport, even synchronized swimming, and will do it without a girlfriend to hide behind.
  


• mocks Angel for liking Hockey, the whitest sport on earth
  


• but will watch a playoff game if it's on, because the action is intense. Doesn't know when hockey is on, although he assumes they still have a league.
  


• watches pro wrestling, but gave up on boxing in favor of Mixed Martial Arts.
  


• will watch televised poker.
  


• will gamble on almost anything. He's trying to control that.
  


• went with Fred to a race at Fontana Speedway, and would have gotten really into NASCAR if it didn't make him feel so out of place.
  


• is a USC football fan. This dates back to Rodney Peete, and only because he's too young to remember the glory days of Marcus Allen and Ronnie Lott.
  


• really likes watching USC whip up on Notre Dame. Especially when Angel's around.
  


• hopes someday, to have an excuse to ride a white horse while wearing armor and swiging a sword.
  


• thinks mascots are awesome. Except for the San Diego Chicken and the Tree. Actually, mascots are kind of creepy.
  


• loves the Rose Bowl. Loves marching bands. Would go to see Drumline again and again.
  


• hates UCLA, and most everyone who played there, except - strangely - the very hateable Reggie Miller. It's probably because of the Spike Lee thing.
  


• back in the day, was a big UNLV fan, and mostly thought the NCAA was out to get Tark.
  


• shaved off his high top fade, because Chris Webber and Jalen Rose made bald look cool.
  


• does not give a damn about the Yankees and the Sox. Or Duke vs. North Carolina. (See East Coast bias )
  


• can get very worked up over how bad ESPN is.
  


• dislikes golf - for mostly the same reasons George Carlin does. And also the institutional racism.
  


• considers that round of 18 holes with Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, and Colin Powell among the greatest corrupt job perks in the history of corporate selling-out.
  


• was not surprised to see Bud Selig in his office.
  


• did not like having David Stern as a client.
  


• is rooting for Laila Ali to win on Dancing with the Stars. Definitely had Emmitt Smith last year.
  


• was not nearly the basketball player he's led his white friends to believe. George and Rondell carried him in 3-on-3, and never let him forget it.
  


• on the other hand, was a pretty decent outfielder.
  


• went to a cross-town school to play football and baseball for a year, but dropped out because he couldn't stand leaving Alonna.
  


• never seriously wanted to be a pro athlete anyway.
  


• used to have pretty much encyclopedic knowledge of every pro athlete who grew up in LA county, and where they used to play.
  


• at the end of the day, knows the difference between games and reality. And never lets the giant foam finger come before more important things in life.

Subject to possible future adds/cuts/edits.

*Note: According to AtS 3.18, Gunn was probably born in 1978.
*Note 2: We’ll work under the assumption that he doesn't die at the end of NFA, because I don’t want to have to backdate to 2003

Comments

[anonymous_sibyl]

Tuck rule, Charles. Tuck rule.

[dlgood.livejournal.com]

(expletive deleted)