Wednesday, August 11th, 2004 02:53 pm
There are all sorts of things that get referenced or mentioned on the TV shows, but which are never explored to their fullest extent. And sometimes, I do get curious:

1. Vampires, when convenient to the plot, have exceptional hearing. Is this something they can turn on and off? Do they have feedback issues? Volume filters or normalization? Do they get headaches? I saw Helmet onstage in 1994. They made my ears bleed. What would they do to a vampire?

2. Vampires and Werewolves, on occaision, happen to have heightened senses of smell. Can they turn that off? There was the vampires that are repelled from Buffy because of her Doublemeat Palace stink. How sensitive are these creatures? Can they handle walking past a gas station? Just how how painful was it for Angel to live in a friggin' sewer for two decades with his SuperScent? Could Oz survive walking through an NFL lockerroom an hour after gametime?

3. Slayer Blood seems to have special properties that make it more potent than regular human blood. If a Slayer tried out for the Olympic Team, could she pass the IOC tests for performance enhancing drugs? And even if she did, would she be able to withstand the massive scrutiny? Would she have to deliberately sandbag her performances in order to not get tested every three days?

Is it even fair for a slayer to compete against non-slayers?

4. Have you seen my bridge?

Edited @4:55 to add some things

5. Has anyone else noticed how much better turkey sandwiches taste when you mix hot sauce in with the mayo?

6. There has been much musing about the menstrual cycles of human females. And, on occaison, how that might affect a slayer. But what about the female vampire? Does she still get a 'monthly visitor'? If not, does she still have the hormonal mood swings. If no on that count as well, during those three days, how much of a trade-off is her soullessness? And does this topic, unpleasant as it might be, not demand itself a Harmony fic or what?
Wednesday, August 11th, 2004 12:37 (UTC)
I agree that it was more a plot device than it should have been. At the same time, I can wank it a bit.

The nose thing, I would assume that to some extant you get used to it. If you take a deep sniff, you're going to be actively identifying what you smell, otherwise I guess it's sort of background noise (or odor). But I would think that strong smells would be extremely uncomfortable for a vampire.

Similar deal for hearing. It's akin to A hearing his name mentioned even if he's at the other end of the house. However, if I'm right next to him, my request to take out the garbage goes unheard. Selective hearing. I would imagine that very load sounds would be downright painful, however.

I find number three most amusing. I do think that slayers smell different to vampires because of their enhanced blood and that's one reason why vampires go after them. It's like vampire catnip.
Wednesday, August 11th, 2004 12:39 (UTC)
So much to ponder...

1. I got the sense that Vamps probably are more sensitive to loud noises, but perhaps don't suffer permanent hearing loss from prolonged exposure.

2. Re: vamp sense of smell...I assumed the crack about Doublemeat Palace stink was both a taunt at the Slayer (why not pile on poor put-upon Buffy to really beat the point to death that her life in Season 6 sucks) and the writers' crack at the fast food industry for some cheap laughs. If she'd been a normal person and not a lethal predator, and the vamp was hungry enough, I'd bet he wouldn't have turned his nose up at someone just for smelling like fast food. I seem to recall that OZ's sense of smell was Willow-specific.

Iunno...I'm told I have an unusually good sense of smell (compared to my family members) and can detect odors long before any of them do. But being surrounded by an odor for an extended period, after a while I stop noticing it. I would imagine the same is true of vamps who live in stinky surroundings for extended periods...They get used to it and don't notice. Or maybe I'm part vampire.

3. Re: Slayer's blood... Isn't blood doping forbidden by the IOC? If so, I guess the question is - does Slayer blood have different chemical or physical properties (as opposed to mystical ones) that might be detected as some kind of enhancement. I'm intrigued by the prospect of Buffy in the Olympics. Bet she'd make a helluva Javelin thrower. Maybe a fanfic idea for someone.

4. Don't know. Would that be the kind of bridge you wear in your mouth or the kind you drive your car across?
Wednesday, August 11th, 2004 12:44 (UTC)
I'm at a loss on these, because there's very little to draw from on canon. I would guess that the increased sense of smell is the origin/explanation for the dislike of garlic, but that's largely been dropped from the Jossverse because NB (I think) is allergic to it. Also, smell is not a filmable experience.

Must ponder. More later.
Wednesday, August 11th, 2004 12:53 (UTC)
Dude, you have WAY too many thoughts.

I desperately want the answer to #3.
Wednesday, August 11th, 2004 13:09 (UTC)
You think too much.

Wednesday, August 11th, 2004 13:11 (UTC)
I've often wondered about how Angel handled the sewers. Then I remembered that he doesn't have to breathe. That must help.
Wednesday, August 11th, 2004 13:38 (UTC)
Yeah, but if he sticks with the rats, he'll never get far enough away from humans that he'll not hear their heartbeat, and that everpresent temptation would be worse than the smell, for sure.
Wednesday, August 11th, 2004 14:00 (UTC)
Slow day at work.
Wednesday, August 11th, 2004 14:00 (UTC)
But I get paid to think. Sometimes, when there's work to do at work.
Wednesday, August 11th, 2004 14:01 (UTC)
I dunno, man. Sewer funk is pretty nasty. Particularly if you rely on your sense of smell to track down food.
Wednesday, August 11th, 2004 14:22 (UTC)
6. There has been much musing about the menstrual cycles of human females. And, on occaison, how that might affect a slayer. But what about the female vampire? Does she still get a 'monthly visitor'? If not, does she still have the hormonal mood swings. If no on that count as well, during those three days, how much of a trade-off is her soullessness? And does this topic, unpleasant as it might be, not demand itself a Harmony fic or what?

My take is that vampires are essentially asexual beings. They "reproduce" by hunting and feeding and bleeding back. The processes that lead to those occurrances just are not there because they are not necessary. (I say "Cold dead seed" as a joke, but I don't believe it would exist either.) If we were talking Salem's Lot/Nosferatu vampires, rather than the sexual beings of the Jossverse and the Riceverse (is that a term?), I'd wonder if there was any "sexual" contact going on. That's not the verse. There's an oral element within Dracula and even within later works (and here I pimp Near Dark again) that points to that. Under a creator freed from the FCC, Spike might be incredibly talented in fellatio but unable to perform himself, or unable to perform unless having recently fed. In social dynamics term, there's no need for the "leader" vampire to be the big guy, and there's really no need for living morality to specify male-female attraction. That sort of attraction would instead be primarily part of the hunt.

(Hooking into wolf dynamics [and there's much canine imagery in vampirism, both in and out of the Jossverse], only the alpha male is allowed to mate, so it seems likely that, in some groups, only the Big Bad gets to turn someone. I could see that more as part of Sunday's group or the Master than the Fanged Four, of course.)

And Harmony? Imagine this as cut from from "Disharmony":

"Cordy, y'know? Insatiable hunger for blood versus no more 'Aunt Flo'? Such a good deal, I have to say. You really should try it."

"Excuse me, but nuh-uh!"
Wednesday, August 11th, 2004 14:32 (UTC)
Slayer Blood seems to have special properties that make it more potent than regular human blood. If a Slayer tried out for the Olympic Team, could she pass the IOC tests for performance enhancing drugs? And even if she did, would she be able to withstand the massive scrutiny? Would she have to deliberately sandbag her performances in order to not get tested every three days?

Is it even fair for a slayer to compete against non-slayers?


Last question first? No.

As a practical matter, any Watcher would discourage their Slayer from attempting to participate, because this would tend to draw attention to her, making it more difficult for her to participate in her calling. And also, the Watcher would declare that such a thing just isn't done. I would guess that, in a world where a mom magics against all contenders to get her daughter on the cheerleading team, mystical tests for performance enhancements would be included with the physical, catching a Slayer before competition.
Wednesday, August 11th, 2004 14:34 (UTC)
only the alpha male is allowed to mate, so it seems likely that, in some groups, only the Big Bad gets to turn someone. I could see that more as part of Sunday's group or the Master than the Fanged Four, of course

That said, along those lines is it notable that Dru didn't seem to think of making herself a playmate? Rather, she was instructed/encouraged to do so. And Spike, who is certainly not an Alpha personality (unlike Angelus) doesn't seem to have turned anybody. Or at least, it never came up.
Wednesday, August 11th, 2004 14:35 (UTC)
I'm thinking more along the lines of a menstruating vampire would drive herself insane with blood lust. I'm getting some very disturbing, kinky imagery here folks.

But, inreality, as luddite pints out, can;t see it as it's completely unnecessary.

Which also brings up the gross point of what happens to the bloomin' onions Spike likes to scarf down. My own view is they come out exactly the same as they went in.
Wednesday, August 11th, 2004 14:43 (UTC)
I'm personally convinced that Spike turned Ford. It was certainly his promise that it would happen. But otherwise, we only saw people he turned in S7, after the song was in his head.

Spike was clearly Alpha pre-"What's My Line", although whether Spike would've taken beta to Dru before his weakness or before Dru's is debatable. Likely he would've, and within the Fanged Four, he certainly was the omega wolf/whipping boy. And that position is cemented by him being sired by the previous omega wolf, Dru.
Wednesday, August 11th, 2004 14:47 (UTC)
For issues of menstruation (sick pun intended), I tend to defer to "Woman" by LadyCat.

And with the onions, yes, with a bit of compostation along with it. Vampires historically smell of death and decay. Perhaps that's a function of what remains of their digestive tract.
Wednesday, August 11th, 2004 15:21 (UTC)
Spike was clearly Alpha pre-"What's My Line"

Yeah - but viewed in larger context, Spike was a non-Alpha trying to play the part of Alpha. But more Alpha-by-default than Alpha-in-truth.
Wednesday, August 11th, 2004 16:16 (UTC)
5. Mayo on turkey?. Blech. Just spicy mustard.

6. The if the ova die when the body does, such that the vamp female is rendered unable to procreate (except Darla, of course), one would assume the normal reproductive functions no longer function. Hence, no menstruation.

That being said... I would think being vamped is a rather extreme solution to PMS.
Wednesday, August 11th, 2004 16:38 (UTC)
Vampires are dead, and therefore don't menstruate. Harmony would be thrilled by this, because she can now wear her white mini every damn day.
Wednesday, August 11th, 2004 19:40 (UTC)

1. Hmm, I've never really thought about it that way. If they were to experience that level of sensitivity, does that mean you could use a dog whistle as a weapon? Blow their eardrums, then stake 'em.

2. I would think that Angel wouldn't have been able to withstand the stink of a sewer either, but I guess vamps eventually get used to these smells after awhile.

3. I would think the IOC would have to know what to screen for in order for her to be banned from competing.

4. ?????

5. Don't like mayo.

6. You spend a lot of time musing about the menstrual cycle of human females?

As others have mentioned, vampires don't menstruate because they don't have living eggs, so no PMS for them.



Wednesday, August 11th, 2004 20:32 (UTC)
3. Very true. OTOH, the press would make life pretty challenging on a Slayer trying out. Considering the massive cloud around Marion Jones (to be fair she has some sketchy associations) and all the innuendo about Lance Armstrong...

4. It's a line in the song on my playlist. Instead of actually having a bridge to the song, Robert Plant repeats the phrase "Have you seen my bridge? Where's the bridge?"

6. Not particularly - but given the percentage of females on my Flist it does show up frequently. See, I'm musing about the cycles of non-human females though.