First of all, congratulations to Mr. Good for presenting this issue with such thoroughness and scholarship. I agree with almost all of what you say, and the rest of the posters as well. There is, however, one issue that troubles me.
It seems popular among the less reasonable Spike fans to claim that Buffy "drove" Spike to his rape attempt through her bad treatment of him. In an attempt to be fair, even those condemning Spike admit that Buffy is not blameless, that their relationship was mutually abusive.
What no one seems to question is whether or not Buffy could be held responsible for her behavior. She began S6 severely traumatized: she had been ripped from Heaven and forced to dig out of her own grave, only to be faced with a demon invasion that she immediately had to defeat. Her temporary belief that she was in Hell was easy to understand. Everyone should consider themselves lucky that she didn't spend the rest of the series catatonic. However, Giles, Dawn, and her friends didn't seem to understand that. They just tried to force her back into her former life and responsibilities. Spike, however, *did* understand--and took advantage of it.
If Spike had been the most well-intentioned, patient, and understanding of boyfriends--which he was not--and tried to do everything that was best for Buffy--which he did not--he would still have had to deal with deep depression, severe mood swings, and other erratic behavior. Symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, in other words.
Anyone trying to be fair would have to consider this mitigating circumstances for Buffy. Did she drive Spike to a nervous breakdown? Well, that was because she had one of her own! Moreover, their relationship before S6 had involved a great deal of mutual antagonism, strongarm tactics on Buffy's part, and treachery (including an attempt to feed her to Drusilla) on Spike's part. It should be no surprise that these continue and worsen considering Buffy's mental state.
The exhibit A of Buffy's abuse of Spike--the beating in "Dead Things"--is a case in point. Buffy believes that she's killed someone, Spike has thrown that person's body away like so much garbage, and is trying to force her to "pull a Faith"--pass off the killing as unimportant, seeing as how she's ahead on the numbers, and move on. When she tries to push by, he tries to physically fight her away. Small wonder she went berserk.
Contrast this with Spike, who suffered no such trauma: he attempts to separate her from her friends, attempts to take control of their finances as a couple by asking her to quit Doublemeat Palace so he can provide for her, and convinces her to take part in sexual activities that she's clearly very uncomfortable with. A systematic, and nearly textbook, case of abuse.
Even if you accept none of this, there's another point to be made: when Buffy broke up with Spike, she took responsibility for her life and her relationship with him. She addressed him as "William", and in doing so, accepted his personhood. From that point on, she treated him with respect--if not always friendliness. She admitted that she'd treated him badly and acknowledged her feelings for him, but explained--firmly and repeatedly--why they couldn't be together. In breaking up with him, she treated him much better than she ever had when they were together.
Spike never accepted any of it. He refused to accept her explanations, blackmailed her with threats of telling her friends about their relationship, and finally--after months of this respectful, but firm, treatment--attempted to rape her.
Seems to me that Spike deserves a bit of the helping of "mutual blame" that has been doled out to Buffy.
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timeasmymeasure
Blaming Buffy
It seems popular among the less reasonable Spike fans to claim that Buffy "drove" Spike to his rape attempt through her bad treatment of him. In an attempt to be fair, even those condemning Spike admit that Buffy is not blameless, that their relationship was mutually abusive.
What no one seems to question is whether or not Buffy could be held responsible for her behavior. She began S6 severely traumatized: she had been ripped from Heaven and forced to dig out of her own grave, only to be faced with a demon invasion that she immediately had to defeat. Her temporary belief that she was in Hell was easy to understand. Everyone should consider themselves lucky that she didn't spend the rest of the series catatonic. However, Giles, Dawn, and her friends didn't seem to understand that. They just tried to force her back into her former life and responsibilities. Spike, however, *did* understand--and took advantage of it.
If Spike had been the most well-intentioned, patient, and understanding of boyfriends--which he was not--and tried to do everything that was best for Buffy--which he did not--he would still have had to deal with deep depression, severe mood swings, and other erratic behavior. Symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, in other words.
Anyone trying to be fair would have to consider this mitigating circumstances for Buffy. Did she drive Spike to a nervous breakdown? Well, that was because she had one of her own! Moreover, their relationship before S6 had involved a great deal of mutual antagonism, strongarm tactics on Buffy's part, and treachery (including an attempt to feed her to Drusilla) on Spike's part. It should be no surprise that these continue and worsen considering Buffy's mental state.
The exhibit A of Buffy's abuse of Spike--the beating in "Dead Things"--is a case in point. Buffy believes that she's killed someone, Spike has thrown that person's body away like so much garbage, and is trying to force her to "pull a Faith"--pass off the killing as unimportant, seeing as how she's ahead on the numbers, and move on. When she tries to push by, he tries to physically fight her away. Small wonder she went berserk.
Contrast this with Spike, who suffered no such trauma: he attempts to separate her from her friends, attempts to take control of their finances as a couple by asking her to quit Doublemeat Palace so he can provide for her, and convinces her to take part in sexual activities that she's clearly very uncomfortable with. A systematic, and nearly textbook, case of abuse.
Even if you accept none of this, there's another point to be made: when Buffy broke up with Spike, she took responsibility for her life and her relationship with him. She addressed him as "William", and in doing so, accepted his personhood. From that point on, she treated him with respect--if not always friendliness. She admitted that she'd treated him badly and acknowledged her feelings for him, but explained--firmly and repeatedly--why they couldn't be together. In breaking up with him, she treated him much better than she ever had when they were together.
Spike never accepted any of it. He refused to accept her explanations, blackmailed her with threats of telling her friends about their relationship, and finally--after months of this respectful, but firm, treatment--attempted to rape her.
Seems to me that Spike deserves a bit of the helping of "mutual blame" that has been doled out to Buffy.
Matt